Christmas: Cracker Jokes

Standard

Christmas isn’t complete without those silly jokes that we find in crackers. All of the jokes I’m showing you in this post are from my advent calendar; I get a joke on the back of every door from my Maltesers Merryteaser Advent Calendar.

What do you get if you cross a snowman and a shark? Frost bite. Lidoff_540x540

Why did the golfer wear an extra pair of trousers? In case he got a hole in one!

How do snowmen get around? They ride an icicle!

What do snowmen eat for lunch? Icebergers!

What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Santa Claustrophobia!

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsilitis!

What happens when you drop a snowball in a glass of water? It gets wet!

What did baby corn say to mummy corn? Where’s popcorn!

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A mince spy!

How do witches tell the time? With a witch-watch!

Who delivers cat’s Christmas presents? Santa Paws!

Why did the tightrope walker visit his bank? To check his balance!

What has 22 legs and 2 wings but can’t fly? A football team!

What do you call just married spiders? Newly-webs!

What kind of paper likes music? Rapping paper!

What song did Cinderella sing as she waited four months for her photos to come back from the chemist? ‘Some day my prints will come!’

What sort of sentence would you get if you broke the law of gravity? A suspended one!

What is Santa’s favourite pizza? One that’s deep pan, crisp and even!

What’s white and goes up? A confused snowflake!

TweetingRawr

Disclaimer: I do not own, nor did I come up with the jokes in this post, they are from Maltesers’ Merryteaser Advent Calendar. I do not own the pictures, they are from: http://www.joepelissier.co.uk/internet/christmascracker2011/and http://www.tesco.com/groceries/product/details/?id=258048715
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s